I had lusted after the Asus P5Q for months, ever since I saw her in that gorgeous brushed-metal Lian-Li case. She seemed so sweet, so innocent, the way she happily and silently accepted those long, smooth DIMMs. I would watch her all day from my slot in the Dell Precision 690, waiting for the day when I knew she would have to accept my contacts into her willing, open sockets.

I knew exactly what I would do to her. She had never seen me before; she didn't know what to expect from me. I would slide into the case and head straight for those gaping sockets, sliding my pins right into the slot. She would be unable to cry out due to my excellent implementation of state-of-the-art design and technology dampening her sounds until they were nearly inaudible. Nobody would know but us.

Finally, at long last, when I was sure I could wait no longer. The day came, and the new computer was ready. I was removed from the Dell case in preparation for the installation in the Lian-Li. I could see the side of the Lian-Li lying open, revealing all of the Asus' most sensitive parts to the world. She had no idea what was in store for her.

I was brought closer and closer to the Lian-Li. I secretly enjoyed the terror that slowly became evident on the Asus' face as she realized what was about to happen to her. My pins brushed against her socket, causing her to let out an involuntary shudder. I braced myself as I was lined up for full insertion.

CLICK. There I was. Finally I was inside her. The sensation was incredible. Tears ran down her face as I reveled in filling her sockets to their maximum capacity; I could almost feel her writhing under me, trying in vain to escape.

This was unlike anything I had ever felt. I could feel the tips of my capacitors beginning to bulge in anticipation. As wave after wave of sensation flowed through me, I noticed the Asus' cries getting louder. Suddenly, my capacitors burst, spraying the Asus with hot, sticky electrolyte. I gradually came to rest, and the only thing audible were the faint whimpers of the Asus as she came to terms with what was happening. I knew that this was only the beginning...